Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Remembering my Mom

(This was the last picture I took of her. It was in October of '09)

I am trying to show a smile while being surrounded by commercials, cards, etc., etc. reminding me of my Mom. I have two boys who are eagerly anticipating Mother's Day so they can surprise me, their mommy. However, deep inside me I am screaming STOP! It feels like my heart is being ripped out more and more cause I can't call her and tell her she was a great mom and I love her so very much. As time goes by I am missing her more and more, not less and less.

I miss her...

When I was a little girl, every time her car keys would jingle, I would go running to her asking "where are you going?" Cause, of course, she could not go without me.

Every morning when Caleb awakes he asks, "Where are we going today momma?"

She taught me less is more when it comes to wearing makeup.

I am trying to teach Noah that when it comes to toys!

I remember when she held me while I cried my heart out when me and my high school boyfriend broke up.

I remember hearing Noah cry his heart out when they took him back at the hospital for surgery on his leg, when he was 2.

She always had some sort of old wives tale for whatever ailment or situation.

I am learning that some of her old remedies work great on my boy's boo-boos.

When she was little she would get off the school bus and step into a cotton field to work before going home to do her school work. Thus giving her a good work ethic.

She was not wasteful. She knew the art of canning. Which she passed onto me and I am so thankful. I was able to can several jars of blueberry jam this past summer and was able to give my last two to Noah's teachers this week as part of Teach Appreciation Week.

She got me my first sewing machine and taught me how to use it. I will be finishing a baby quilt for my cousin that she was going to give her as a baby gift.

She taught me the art to yard sailing. :)

I remember one time the transmission went out in the car and she drove our car in reverse all the way home from the grocery store (luckily it was only like a mile!)

When I was packing away her things I found a box and in it were all the cards I have ever made or sent to her, going all the way back to elementary school. I wish I could have them with me this weekend to re-read.

Even though I am 32 years old, when I am sick, nothing makes me feel better than when my momma takes care of me. There is just something about a momma's love

The thing I am most proud of is that she was baptized into Christ on Oct 29, 2008. She had more joy in the last 18 months of her life than any one person I have known. She was one of those Christians who was "on fire" for Christ and she did not fade out, she fanned that flame more and more. The greatest treasure I have is her personal Bible. To go back and read her notes and see her growth. I hang my head in shame. She was more of a Christian in 18months than I have been in my 7 sevens since I was baptized. She was a beautiful person inside and out and I praise God that he gave me her cheekbones, feet, hands, and eyes and praise Him even more that He was patient and I know where my momma is. She is on her way to her mansion filled with all of her yard sailing treasures.

I miss her.....

She loved my boys and I love her and will have a smile on my face when my little treasures love on me this weekend.


JPJ said...

Awhh, Mary--such sweet things to say. Your mother was so very proud of you.

Brandi said...

I think I met your Momma once when she visited in Charleston. But although I didn't know her well, I can definitely see how you've described her in you. This post is so wonderfully written. I love your honesty and the way there's an appreciation for what Mom's do on a whole new level when we get to be in the "mom" role. She had to have been so proud of the Momma you are to your boys. That she's peeking at you all from Heaven must be part of her complete joy. Can't you just imagine all the pearls of wisdom she'll share with you in glory. I think the ache of missing her is just the measure of the amount of love she taught you...and I also think God truly understands the pain.